Showing posts with label other. Show all posts
Showing posts with label other. Show all posts
Sunday, March 25, 2012
God's NOT dead
Let love explode And bring the dead to life A love so bold To see a revolution somehow
BRING THE DEAD TO LIFE.........Without Jesus, you are dead......His LOVE will bring the dead to life.......I want my family brought to LIFE!!!!!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Friday, November 04, 2011
Grace for the good girl
Here is another part of the book,
There is no place in the Bible where it says emotions are categorized as right or wrong. Still, for a good girl in hiding, it feels risky to be honest about them. Honest could ruffle feathers. Honest could reveal differing opionions. Honest could dirsupt your perception of me. Honest could ruin my carefully crafted laid'back image. Feeling scared meant I needed more faith. Feeling anger meant I needed more control. Feeling confused meant I needed to get it together and fiugre things out. In theory, I knew I was supposed to cast my fear, anger and confusion on the Lord. But after "trusting" him with my circumstances, I thought it was my responsibility to change the emotions and keep myself from experiencing them again. ~Emily Freeman
There is no place in the Bible where it says emotions are categorized as right or wrong. Still, for a good girl in hiding, it feels risky to be honest about them. Honest could ruffle feathers. Honest could reveal differing opionions. Honest could dirsupt your perception of me. Honest could ruin my carefully crafted laid'back image. Feeling scared meant I needed more faith. Feeling anger meant I needed more control. Feeling confused meant I needed to get it together and fiugre things out. In theory, I knew I was supposed to cast my fear, anger and confusion on the Lord. But after "trusting" him with my circumstances, I thought it was my responsibility to change the emotions and keep myself from experiencing them again. ~Emily Freeman
Saturday, October 15, 2011
One thing that may help any relationship
A devotion from Ann Voskamp, read at her blog here
I think of my mother and my esp my papa when I read this.......
I think of my mother and my esp my papa when I read this.......
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Best Friends~Sisters
This is Jennifer aka my best friend.....She came to visit me and we had a great time. Lots of shopping, without her knowledge you would think I have grandbabies already. ;) So thanks to her I dress more my age....A few words to describe our weekend:
2 am, early rise, gas station coffee, getting lost, possible sunburns, danger at every corner, burping, peach bellini, chocolate, malls, coconut lime, blades, dumpsters, questionable photos, room service, bean sprouts, hot boots, bridesmaid shoes/not, 5 months preggo, weaker rabbits, salads, joanns yarn, thump thump thump, have you seen this before?, nicest person i know, hour glass, felt pillows, coffee, So happy to have had this time with you!
Who knew
Who knew loving you would cause her rejection?
Rejection from the one you thought would always love you.
Who knew her rejection would cause me to love You even more?
Loving you, The one, who will always love me.
Who knew her rejection would in the end hurt her more?
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Cor 1:18
Who knew her rejection could hurt so bad?
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3
You knew, you always knew, you were rejected and continue to be rejected, yet even still you love......
Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22
Take courage and lean not on your own understanding.......
Rejection from the one you thought would always love you.
Who knew her rejection would cause me to love You even more?
Loving you, The one, who will always love me.
Who knew her rejection would in the end hurt her more?
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Cor 1:18
Who knew her rejection could hurt so bad?
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3
You knew, you always knew, you were rejected and continue to be rejected, yet even still you love......
Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Luke 6:22
Take courage and lean not on your own understanding.......
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Are you damaged?
October 5, 2011
Damaged Goods
Carol Davis
She Speaks Graduate
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17 (NIV, 1984)
I walked down the aisle of the discount grocery looking for a bargain that I couldn't live without. It's always hit and miss in this store...and I had missed...again.
But, I passed by a bin that caught my eye. "Damaged Goods." It was filled with dented cans and missing labels...no real rhyme or reason, just random items that were not shelf worthy. And suddenly, I knew just how they felt.
Life sometimes delivers the unexpected. Lessons learned in the school of hard knocks bruise us, dent us and remove the label that defines who we are. We feel as if we have been tossed into a bin, no longer worthy of a place on the shelf. Some people substantiate the lie that we are second class failures and all hope is gone.
So, I leaned over and intentionally chose a dented can with no label from the bin. I got it home and placed it on the can opener with anxious anticipation. The whirr of the can opener finally penetrated the metal lid to reveal....peaches!!! I let out a school girl squeal! I love peaches!! What a treat to open this can and be greeted by one of my favorite fruits. The can was damaged but the contents were still good...and sweet.
God must have smiled...because at that moment the sunshine beamed in my kitchen window. I knew in my heart there was a lesson.
I have been damaged. We all have to some degree. I am not living the life that I dreamed about when I was a kid. However, the damage that I have suffered has made the contents of my heart so much sweeter, so much more compassionate, so much more in pursuit of Jesus. I have been looked down upon and judged by many who have seen my label missing and slapped on their own.
I've wanted to say, "Don't judge too quickly. My damage has not defined me...but, it is refining me." I may sometimes be at the bottom of the life's bin, but Jesus paid as high a price for those of us at the bottom as He did for those that are proudly displayed on the top shelf.
Look around. Is there someone in your life, your family or your church that you consider "damaged goods"? Don't miss an opportunity to reach out to them, to love them. You just might find a friendship that is good...and sweet.
Damaged Goods
Carol Davis
She Speaks Graduate
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17 (NIV, 1984)
I walked down the aisle of the discount grocery looking for a bargain that I couldn't live without. It's always hit and miss in this store...and I had missed...again.
But, I passed by a bin that caught my eye. "Damaged Goods." It was filled with dented cans and missing labels...no real rhyme or reason, just random items that were not shelf worthy. And suddenly, I knew just how they felt.
Life sometimes delivers the unexpected. Lessons learned in the school of hard knocks bruise us, dent us and remove the label that defines who we are. We feel as if we have been tossed into a bin, no longer worthy of a place on the shelf. Some people substantiate the lie that we are second class failures and all hope is gone.
So, I leaned over and intentionally chose a dented can with no label from the bin. I got it home and placed it on the can opener with anxious anticipation. The whirr of the can opener finally penetrated the metal lid to reveal....peaches!!! I let out a school girl squeal! I love peaches!! What a treat to open this can and be greeted by one of my favorite fruits. The can was damaged but the contents were still good...and sweet.
God must have smiled...because at that moment the sunshine beamed in my kitchen window. I knew in my heart there was a lesson.
I have been damaged. We all have to some degree. I am not living the life that I dreamed about when I was a kid. However, the damage that I have suffered has made the contents of my heart so much sweeter, so much more compassionate, so much more in pursuit of Jesus. I have been looked down upon and judged by many who have seen my label missing and slapped on their own.
I've wanted to say, "Don't judge too quickly. My damage has not defined me...but, it is refining me." I may sometimes be at the bottom of the life's bin, but Jesus paid as high a price for those of us at the bottom as He did for those that are proudly displayed on the top shelf.
Look around. Is there someone in your life, your family or your church that you consider "damaged goods"? Don't miss an opportunity to reach out to them, to love them. You just might find a friendship that is good...and sweet.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Is God looking for you?
September 22, 2011
Is God Looking for You?
T. Suzanne Eller
"I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn't have to destroy the land, but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30 (NLT)
I loved her dearly. I prayed for her often, but I reasoned with myself as I kept silent. I didn't have all the facts. It wasn't my place. I didn't want her to think that I was judging her.
She was falling into sin while pushing aside the consequences for her and her loved ones. For a long time it was secret, but now it was not. Still I said nothing.
If a car sped through a red light, I would have warned her. But sin recklessly careened through her choices, and I didn't even wave a red flag. Until one day God stopped me in my prayers with today's key verse from Ezekiel 22:30: "I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in th wall so I wouldn't have to destroy the land, but I found no one." (NLT)
Are You looking for me, God? I wondered. Is she so heavy on Your heart that You are searching for someone to stand in the gap?
My conversation with her wasn't easy. But, it was bathed in prayer. Cloaked in words of love. And truth, sweet truth between two women.
I let her know that I loved her, and so did Jesus. In fact, He loved her so much that He had placed her on my heart for months. I told her my silence was not proof of my love, but evidence of my fears. I wanted her to know she mattered more than my fear of rejection or misunderstanding.
How many times do we watch a friend, a child, a loved one walk in the opposite direction of God and say nothing? How often do we fail to pray?
When God called Ezekiel to rebuild the wall of righteousness and stand in the gap, it was not an easy job. Ezekiel was called to speak the truth to the Israelites. God didn't promise that they would listen. Or that they would change their ways. Ezekiel was to tell them that God watched them, like a Father watches an errant child. He hated their sin but longed to lead them in a new direction, one marked with intention rather than indulgence.
My friend received my words well, and now it is up to her and God. I have promised to always be truthful with her, and in doing so, encourage, love and pray with her.
Is there someone you love, someone close to you, who has fallen into the trap of sin? Is God asking you to share the truth? Is God looking for you to stand in the gap?
Is God Looking for You?
T. Suzanne Eller
"I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn't have to destroy the land, but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30 (NLT)
I loved her dearly. I prayed for her often, but I reasoned with myself as I kept silent. I didn't have all the facts. It wasn't my place. I didn't want her to think that I was judging her.
She was falling into sin while pushing aside the consequences for her and her loved ones. For a long time it was secret, but now it was not. Still I said nothing.
If a car sped through a red light, I would have warned her. But sin recklessly careened through her choices, and I didn't even wave a red flag. Until one day God stopped me in my prayers with today's key verse from Ezekiel 22:30: "I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in th wall so I wouldn't have to destroy the land, but I found no one." (NLT)
Are You looking for me, God? I wondered. Is she so heavy on Your heart that You are searching for someone to stand in the gap?
My conversation with her wasn't easy. But, it was bathed in prayer. Cloaked in words of love. And truth, sweet truth between two women.
I let her know that I loved her, and so did Jesus. In fact, He loved her so much that He had placed her on my heart for months. I told her my silence was not proof of my love, but evidence of my fears. I wanted her to know she mattered more than my fear of rejection or misunderstanding.
How many times do we watch a friend, a child, a loved one walk in the opposite direction of God and say nothing? How often do we fail to pray?
When God called Ezekiel to rebuild the wall of righteousness and stand in the gap, it was not an easy job. Ezekiel was called to speak the truth to the Israelites. God didn't promise that they would listen. Or that they would change their ways. Ezekiel was to tell them that God watched them, like a Father watches an errant child. He hated their sin but longed to lead them in a new direction, one marked with intention rather than indulgence.
My friend received my words well, and now it is up to her and God. I have promised to always be truthful with her, and in doing so, encourage, love and pray with her.
Is there someone you love, someone close to you, who has fallen into the trap of sin? Is God asking you to share the truth? Is God looking for you to stand in the gap?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Forgiveness
Three Ways to Forgive by Ann Voskamp
1. Be a Screen Door
Like the wind blows through a screen door, let blustry comments, stormy blasts just blow right past. Incidents can only hit hard if you have your front door closed. But having a screen door policy allows some of the pain to blow by, us all hidden in Christ….
2. Only Believe the Best
When you believe that everyone is always just doing their best, that we never war against flesh and blood but against the principalities, that in light of this fallen world and sinful limitations, they truly are doing their best… this changes everything. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things and whatever is good and pure and lovely, think on these things.
3. Tell the Thankful Truth
The truth is, there is always something, a lot, to give thanks for and that is the truth about every single parent. Consider offering a father, a mother, the gift of a jar full of slips of paper with your gratitude and thankful memories jotted down. This kind of grateful truth-telling helps to heal old wounds.
I feel myself wanting to close up, close myself off to everyone outside my house. I find myself getting angry over lost relationships, angry to always be the initator and I dont want to be.
So I get this email from Ann daily and wow, I love her way of being a screen door instead of a closed door. I want to be a screen door but I feel myself closing it. I know Christ wouldnt have me do that. I have to keep being strong and well by golly I dont want to be, so Im left with trying to allow my GOD to be for me. At times I feel the hurt of everyone in the world and it is sooo sad. I want to remove everyones hurt. I want to make everyone well. I find that the more that technology and the get more have more mentality increases, the more people dont have time for each other anymore. No one seems to have time for one on one relationships. I miss the good ole days when people would get together for afternoon tea or whatever and just enjoy fellowship with others. Everyone seems soooo rushed....RELAX and treasure your moments, they are fleeting. Look into your childs heart and love them. Love them for who they are even if you dont like or understand them. God made them unique. Im learning to do this, and with the help of my husbands encouragement we are trying to take in every moment. Ok im done for now.......
1. Be a Screen Door
Like the wind blows through a screen door, let blustry comments, stormy blasts just blow right past. Incidents can only hit hard if you have your front door closed. But having a screen door policy allows some of the pain to blow by, us all hidden in Christ….
2. Only Believe the Best
When you believe that everyone is always just doing their best, that we never war against flesh and blood but against the principalities, that in light of this fallen world and sinful limitations, they truly are doing their best… this changes everything. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things and whatever is good and pure and lovely, think on these things.
3. Tell the Thankful Truth
The truth is, there is always something, a lot, to give thanks for and that is the truth about every single parent. Consider offering a father, a mother, the gift of a jar full of slips of paper with your gratitude and thankful memories jotted down. This kind of grateful truth-telling helps to heal old wounds.
I feel myself wanting to close up, close myself off to everyone outside my house. I find myself getting angry over lost relationships, angry to always be the initator and I dont want to be.
So I get this email from Ann daily and wow, I love her way of being a screen door instead of a closed door. I want to be a screen door but I feel myself closing it. I know Christ wouldnt have me do that. I have to keep being strong and well by golly I dont want to be, so Im left with trying to allow my GOD to be for me. At times I feel the hurt of everyone in the world and it is sooo sad. I want to remove everyones hurt. I want to make everyone well. I find that the more that technology and the get more have more mentality increases, the more people dont have time for each other anymore. No one seems to have time for one on one relationships. I miss the good ole days when people would get together for afternoon tea or whatever and just enjoy fellowship with others. Everyone seems soooo rushed....RELAX and treasure your moments, they are fleeting. Look into your childs heart and love them. Love them for who they are even if you dont like or understand them. God made them unique. Im learning to do this, and with the help of my husbands encouragement we are trying to take in every moment. Ok im done for now.......
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Moms version of 1 cor 13
This is from a devotional bible I have but was originally in a book called "When the handwriting on the wall is in brown crayon" by Susan L. Lenzkes.
Though I lecture and harp at my children and have not love, I will be background noise to rebellious thoughts.
And though I wisely warn them not to use the street as a playground, or they'll be killed; and though I patiently explain why snails live in mobile homes, and I give endless answers to life's other mysteries; and though I have faith that can remove mountains of ignorance - yet never hug my children - I have taught nothing.
And though I slave over a steaming stove with balanced diets and complicated recipes and even burn my fingers - yet never smile as I serve - I have not really fed them.
A truly loving mother suffers through unfinished sentences, clutter, nicks on furniture, sleepless nights and adolescent insults, and is kind enough to think her kids are the greatest. A loving mother tries not to resent her children for being free like she used to be, and she doesn't brag about how she never talked to her mom that way.
Real love considers a childish nightmare more urgent than her need for sleep; is not shattered by the title "Meanest Mom"; doesn't shame a toddler who breaks training or a teen who still spills milk; steadfastly refuses to entertain visions of escape; and does not smirk as her child trips over the toy he refused to put away (but with silent wisdom rejoices in the effective lessons of experience).
Mother love has arms strong from lifting, a heart large with believing, a mind stretched with hoping, shoulders soft with enduring and knees bent with committing.
True mother-love never fails to point her child to the Author of Love.
"And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
~
Though I lecture and harp at my children and have not love, I will be background noise to rebellious thoughts.
And though I wisely warn them not to use the street as a playground, or they'll be killed; and though I patiently explain why snails live in mobile homes, and I give endless answers to life's other mysteries; and though I have faith that can remove mountains of ignorance - yet never hug my children - I have taught nothing.
And though I slave over a steaming stove with balanced diets and complicated recipes and even burn my fingers - yet never smile as I serve - I have not really fed them.
A truly loving mother suffers through unfinished sentences, clutter, nicks on furniture, sleepless nights and adolescent insults, and is kind enough to think her kids are the greatest. A loving mother tries not to resent her children for being free like she used to be, and she doesn't brag about how she never talked to her mom that way.
Real love considers a childish nightmare more urgent than her need for sleep; is not shattered by the title "Meanest Mom"; doesn't shame a toddler who breaks training or a teen who still spills milk; steadfastly refuses to entertain visions of escape; and does not smirk as her child trips over the toy he refused to put away (but with silent wisdom rejoices in the effective lessons of experience).
Mother love has arms strong from lifting, a heart large with believing, a mind stretched with hoping, shoulders soft with enduring and knees bent with committing.
True mother-love never fails to point her child to the Author of Love.
~
"And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13
Friday, July 22, 2011
Action Friends
July 22, 2011
Friends in Action
Marybeth Whalen
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 (NIV)
What makes a good friend? Someone who runs errands for you when you're sick? Who takes your kids off your hands when you need a break? Who sits with you over a cup of coffee and listens? Someone you can count on to see the latest chick flicks with you? Someone who challenges you to be a better wife, mother, and follower of God?
In each of these examples, we see friendship taking an active form. As I have studied the Bible, I see three instances of friendship in action. Job 2:11-13 shows us how Job's friends came to help him as he faced hardship. Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar dropped everything to go comfort their friend — even if it was just to sit silently beside him. They knew that just their presence and willingness to listen would comfort him.
Acts 28:15 gives us a glimpse into how just the sight of trusted friends can encourage us. Paul's friends heard he was coming so they traveled a great distance to greet him. For Paul this was a huge blessing. Sometimes just knowing someone is willing to make an effort on your behalf will put wind in your sails. I love that Paul first thanked God for his friends. I want to remember, like he did, that friends are a gift from God.
Acts 12:12-19 tells us how Peter's friends couldn't be with him because he was imprisoned. But that didn't stop them from doing what they could. They gathered together to pray. The King James Version of Acts 12:5 says that they were literally praying "without ceasing." These friends knew that corporate prayer was an action they could take on behalf of their friend who needed them.
Whether we physically go to our friend's side or spiritually partner with them in prayer, we can look to these examples from the Bible as to how to be friends in action.
In a society that is more and more driven to social media, texting, and emailing as a way to stay connected, we cannot overlook what taking physical action in real time can mean. We can be active in faith, in love, in joy, in kindness. We choose to act because we understand that we are God's hands and feet to those He puts in our lives. Yes, it takes extra effort, time, and even money to be an active friend. But the blessings outweigh the effort as we live according to the examples God has given us.
Dear Lord, help me to be a friend who takes action. When You lay someone on my heart, help me to feel a sense of urgency to move on their behalf. Help me to follow these Biblical examples and be a friend in action, not just in thought. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Friends in Action
Marybeth Whalen
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 (NIV)
What makes a good friend? Someone who runs errands for you when you're sick? Who takes your kids off your hands when you need a break? Who sits with you over a cup of coffee and listens? Someone you can count on to see the latest chick flicks with you? Someone who challenges you to be a better wife, mother, and follower of God?
In each of these examples, we see friendship taking an active form. As I have studied the Bible, I see three instances of friendship in action. Job 2:11-13 shows us how Job's friends came to help him as he faced hardship. Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar dropped everything to go comfort their friend — even if it was just to sit silently beside him. They knew that just their presence and willingness to listen would comfort him.
Acts 28:15 gives us a glimpse into how just the sight of trusted friends can encourage us. Paul's friends heard he was coming so they traveled a great distance to greet him. For Paul this was a huge blessing. Sometimes just knowing someone is willing to make an effort on your behalf will put wind in your sails. I love that Paul first thanked God for his friends. I want to remember, like he did, that friends are a gift from God.
Acts 12:12-19 tells us how Peter's friends couldn't be with him because he was imprisoned. But that didn't stop them from doing what they could. They gathered together to pray. The King James Version of Acts 12:5 says that they were literally praying "without ceasing." These friends knew that corporate prayer was an action they could take on behalf of their friend who needed them.
Whether we physically go to our friend's side or spiritually partner with them in prayer, we can look to these examples from the Bible as to how to be friends in action.
In a society that is more and more driven to social media, texting, and emailing as a way to stay connected, we cannot overlook what taking physical action in real time can mean. We can be active in faith, in love, in joy, in kindness. We choose to act because we understand that we are God's hands and feet to those He puts in our lives. Yes, it takes extra effort, time, and even money to be an active friend. But the blessings outweigh the effort as we live according to the examples God has given us.
Dear Lord, help me to be a friend who takes action. When You lay someone on my heart, help me to feel a sense of urgency to move on their behalf. Help me to follow these Biblical examples and be a friend in action, not just in thought. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Natural or Miracle?
WOW, never thought of it like that. But what comes naturally to some doesnt come naturally to others, so there for you know that its a miracle, supernatural happening and not of yourself.....People think this whole mothering thing and homeschooling thing comes naturally for me and while some things like mothering instinct etc does being the mother GOD calls me to be isnt.....and to hear reassurance from God through Beth is life for me right now.....He is my strength!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Great Duty
Let no Christian parents fall into the delusion
that Sunday School is intended
to ease them of their personal duties.
The first and most natural condition of things
is for Christian parents
to train up their own children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
that Sunday School is intended
to ease them of their personal duties.
The first and most natural condition of things
is for Christian parents
to train up their own children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
-Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Quote from Sally Clarkson
If you are a mother and want encouragment in your high calling I highly suggest Sally Clarksons book Seasons of a Mothers Heart. I was blessed to be able to go to her conference in Dallas this year and it was amazing to meet her in person! Here is a quote from my reading today
"God is pictured numerous times in Scripture expressing emotions. A part of his divine nature is what we call emotion, but it is perfect and without flaw. Since we are made "in his image,"we share that part of God's nature. Emotion- the part of us that experiences happiness, sadness, andger and shame is a natural part of life put there by God. However, like so many other "good" things in our lives that God has created, OUR SIN NATURE MESSES UP OUR EMOTIONS. We are too often tempted to follow our sin distorted feelings, rather than God. To help us, though, God has put the Holy Spirit in our lives to enable us to live by faith rather than by our feelings. Letting God control even our feelings and passions is a sure mark of Christian Maturity. Spirit controlled emotions and passions drive us to love God and serve others, and that's what makes them good." Sally Clarkson
I want God controlling my emotions....
I want God to control how I handle the stresses of Home Educating our children.
I want God to control my reaction to things I can't control.
I want God to control every aspect of my life.
I'm thankful that he has given us his word to help us through this journey....
"God is pictured numerous times in Scripture expressing emotions. A part of his divine nature is what we call emotion, but it is perfect and without flaw. Since we are made "in his image,"we share that part of God's nature. Emotion- the part of us that experiences happiness, sadness, andger and shame is a natural part of life put there by God. However, like so many other "good" things in our lives that God has created, OUR SIN NATURE MESSES UP OUR EMOTIONS. We are too often tempted to follow our sin distorted feelings, rather than God. To help us, though, God has put the Holy Spirit in our lives to enable us to live by faith rather than by our feelings. Letting God control even our feelings and passions is a sure mark of Christian Maturity. Spirit controlled emotions and passions drive us to love God and serve others, and that's what makes them good." Sally Clarkson
I want God controlling my emotions....
I want God to control how I handle the stresses of Home Educating our children.
I want God to control my reaction to things I can't control.
I want God to control every aspect of my life.
I'm thankful that he has given us his word to help us through this journey....
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Building Female Friendships
Build Solid Female Friendships
Whitney Von Lake Hopler
Friendships with other women have the potential to either enrich your life greatly or hurt you deeply. But you can navigate the complex dynamics of relationships well if you realize that God wants to use your friendships to help you and your friends grow. Grown-up friendships stretch and encourage both you and your friends to become more mature.
Here’s how you can build grown-up friendships:
Be willing to invest yourself in friendships. Realize that good friendships don’t just happen; they take time and require risks. Invest the time and take the risks necessary to build solid friendships. Don’t settle for just fleeting fun marred by insecurity; pursue relationships that help you connect well with other women and experience deep joy together.
Discover the purpose for each of your friendships. Understand that God has an overarching purpose for all grown-up friendships, which is that they should honor Him by encouraging the people involved to become the people He wants them to be. But ask God to show you the unique purpose for each of your friendships, as well. Ask your friends questions as you explore the potential purpose for your friendships with them, and pray about the information you receive until you discover what God wants to accomplish in each of your lives through your friendship.
Rank your friendships by intimacy level. Recognize that not all of your relationships are meant to be close. Know that, while you’re called to love everyone, you’re not called to share intimately with everyone.
Put your friendships in the proper perspective by ranking them according to whether they’re acquaintances (people you know by name and with whom you usually share facts or clichés, such as a cashier at your favorite grocery store), companions (people you talk with about opinions or concerns, and with whom you share something in common, such as a hobby or children of the same age) or close friends (people you trust enough to share your deep thoughts and feelings together). After taking inventory of your current friendships, ask yourself if you’re experiencing true intimacy in any of your friendships, or if you’re spread too thin by trying to have too many intimate friendships.
Identify those people with whom you sense God is leading you to become close friends, and become intentional about doing so while letting go of unnecessary pressure in your other friendships. Make sure that God is your number one close friend, and rely on the love He gives to love other people.
Open your heart, with God’s help. Don’t close your heart off to people God wants you love. If you’re having trouble acting loving toward a difficult person, ask God – the source of all love – to help you by giving you the love you need for her. Be aware of how people press your fear buttons through their words and actions. Once you identify how they trigger fear in you, talk with them honestly about it, with the goal of sharing a loving conversation that will enlighten you both and draw you closer together. Constantly keep your heart open to receive God’s love so you can love your friends as He intends.
Set and respect healthy boundaries. Pursue healing from any past wounds that are affecting your ability to build current relationships in healthy ways. Reflect on your emotions and what words and actions trigger them so you can understand how to express them at appropriate times and in ways that are most helpful to you and your friends. Make sure that your physical expressions of affection honor God and bless your friends rather than making them uncomfortable. Recognize that God has created you to be unique. Don’t try to become like your friends; embrace your own identity with confidence.
Embrace differences between yourself and your friends. Accept the fact that you and your friends have different personalities and approaches to life. Realize that, instead of causing you to grow apart, your differences can actually improve your friendship if you respond to them wisely. Let go of attempts to change your friends and address frustrations and unmet expectations as they occur. View the differences between you as gifts rather than annoyances. Bring out the best in each other by inviting God to use the differences between you to teach you to love in deeper ways. Ask God what He is trying to accomplish by pulling you and your friends together, and keep His purposes in mind as you work through your differences.
Communicate wisely. Avoid behaviors that erode the trust that must be the foundation of a safe friendship, such as: gossip, criticism, competitiveness, blaming, manipulation, an unwillingness to confront about issues, jealousy, too much emotional intensity, jockeying for position within a group of friends, and talking instead of listening. Create safety in your friendships by allowing each other to open up with each other and share your true thoughts and feelings. Honor each other by recognizing each other’s value. Realize when your fear buttons have been pushed, and learn how to manage your emotions so they don’t control you. Be willing to seek forgiveness when you’ve hurt your friends. Speak encouraging words to your friends.
Avoid screaming, yelling, threats, and other unhealthy behaviors during disagreements. Create ground rules for your friendships that make it clear what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Be willing to confront your friends whenever you believe they have wronged you.
Learn how to listen well (be empathetic, summarize what was said to make sure you heard it correctly, ask open-ended questions that lead to deeper sharing, and validate your friend’s feelings even if you don’t agree with them). Rather than harboring negative beliefs about your friends, acknowledge that your perceptions might be wrong and give your friends the benefit of the doubt until you can visit with them to discuss your concerns. Don’t make negative comments about other people in front of your friends when those people aren’t present to defend themselves; know that if you refrain from doing so, your friends will trust you not to speak critically about them when they’re not present.
Take responsibility for what you choose to believe about your friends and how you choose to communicate with them; don’t blame your friends for your own choices.
Forgive and seek forgiveness. Be willing to forgive your friends after they hurt you, and ask them to forgive you after you hurt them. Know that this is not an option; it’s something you must do to maintain healthy friendships. Remember that God has forgiven you and expects you to take His call to forgive seriously. Rely on God’s help to forgive and seek forgiveness, no matter what your feelings, and know that He will help you do so. Pursue reconciliation as well with those friends who are willing to restore their friendships with you.
Overcome destructive friendships. Try to prevent being mistreated in friendships by depending on Jesus (rather than other people) to meet your deepest needs, asking God to help you become wiser and more discerning, being willing to trust others after someone betrays you, and seeking out healthy friends.
Understand that a healthy friend: brings her own identity to the relationship, supports rather than acts as a caretaker, is honest and truthful but not critical, can make decisions for herself but does not need to make decisions for everyone around her, honors your other friendships while having a clear vision of the purpose God had when He brought you two together, does not try to manipulate you but encourages you instead, believes the best about you, forgives but does not accept recurring destructive behavior from someone who does not repent. Decide to give your heart in close friendship only to women you can trust to hold it well.
Know when to let go. If you have lost a friendship because of another person’s choice, accept that you can’t control another person and don’t try to force a relationship when she doesn’t want one. If you’re dealing with a destructive friendship in which your friend is mistreating you and won’t change, realize that the best choice for you to make may be to let go of that relationship.
After a friendship ends, try to learn from the experience by asking yourself: “How could I have done this relationship better?” and “What can I learn from this painful experience and apply to my other relationships?" Allow yourself to go through the grieving process for a friendship you’ve lost. Ask God to use the loss of a friendship to refine your weaknesses and draw you closer to Him.
Reach out in crisis. When you’re going through a crisis in your life (such as divorce, widowhood, a sick child, a death in the family, or your own illness), don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends for support. When your friends are going through a crisis in their lives, reach out to them to offer them some of the hope and help they need.
Pass on what you know. Become a mentor (either formally or informally) to younger women who could benefit from what you’ve learned about building grown-up friendships. Model love in the midst of hurt, offer support in the midst of trials, pray for their friendships, and occasionally include them in fun activities with you and your own friends.
Press on. Persevere through the challenges of struggles in your friendships, knowing that God will use all of your experiences to help you become more and more like Jesus.
Originally posted April July 2007.
Whitney Von Lake Hopler
Friendships with other women have the potential to either enrich your life greatly or hurt you deeply. But you can navigate the complex dynamics of relationships well if you realize that God wants to use your friendships to help you and your friends grow. Grown-up friendships stretch and encourage both you and your friends to become more mature.
Here’s how you can build grown-up friendships:
Be willing to invest yourself in friendships. Realize that good friendships don’t just happen; they take time and require risks. Invest the time and take the risks necessary to build solid friendships. Don’t settle for just fleeting fun marred by insecurity; pursue relationships that help you connect well with other women and experience deep joy together.
Discover the purpose for each of your friendships. Understand that God has an overarching purpose for all grown-up friendships, which is that they should honor Him by encouraging the people involved to become the people He wants them to be. But ask God to show you the unique purpose for each of your friendships, as well. Ask your friends questions as you explore the potential purpose for your friendships with them, and pray about the information you receive until you discover what God wants to accomplish in each of your lives through your friendship.
Rank your friendships by intimacy level. Recognize that not all of your relationships are meant to be close. Know that, while you’re called to love everyone, you’re not called to share intimately with everyone.
Put your friendships in the proper perspective by ranking them according to whether they’re acquaintances (people you know by name and with whom you usually share facts or clichés, such as a cashier at your favorite grocery store), companions (people you talk with about opinions or concerns, and with whom you share something in common, such as a hobby or children of the same age) or close friends (people you trust enough to share your deep thoughts and feelings together). After taking inventory of your current friendships, ask yourself if you’re experiencing true intimacy in any of your friendships, or if you’re spread too thin by trying to have too many intimate friendships.
Identify those people with whom you sense God is leading you to become close friends, and become intentional about doing so while letting go of unnecessary pressure in your other friendships. Make sure that God is your number one close friend, and rely on the love He gives to love other people.
Open your heart, with God’s help. Don’t close your heart off to people God wants you love. If you’re having trouble acting loving toward a difficult person, ask God – the source of all love – to help you by giving you the love you need for her. Be aware of how people press your fear buttons through their words and actions. Once you identify how they trigger fear in you, talk with them honestly about it, with the goal of sharing a loving conversation that will enlighten you both and draw you closer together. Constantly keep your heart open to receive God’s love so you can love your friends as He intends.
Set and respect healthy boundaries. Pursue healing from any past wounds that are affecting your ability to build current relationships in healthy ways. Reflect on your emotions and what words and actions trigger them so you can understand how to express them at appropriate times and in ways that are most helpful to you and your friends. Make sure that your physical expressions of affection honor God and bless your friends rather than making them uncomfortable. Recognize that God has created you to be unique. Don’t try to become like your friends; embrace your own identity with confidence.
Embrace differences between yourself and your friends. Accept the fact that you and your friends have different personalities and approaches to life. Realize that, instead of causing you to grow apart, your differences can actually improve your friendship if you respond to them wisely. Let go of attempts to change your friends and address frustrations and unmet expectations as they occur. View the differences between you as gifts rather than annoyances. Bring out the best in each other by inviting God to use the differences between you to teach you to love in deeper ways. Ask God what He is trying to accomplish by pulling you and your friends together, and keep His purposes in mind as you work through your differences.
Communicate wisely. Avoid behaviors that erode the trust that must be the foundation of a safe friendship, such as: gossip, criticism, competitiveness, blaming, manipulation, an unwillingness to confront about issues, jealousy, too much emotional intensity, jockeying for position within a group of friends, and talking instead of listening. Create safety in your friendships by allowing each other to open up with each other and share your true thoughts and feelings. Honor each other by recognizing each other’s value. Realize when your fear buttons have been pushed, and learn how to manage your emotions so they don’t control you. Be willing to seek forgiveness when you’ve hurt your friends. Speak encouraging words to your friends.
Avoid screaming, yelling, threats, and other unhealthy behaviors during disagreements. Create ground rules for your friendships that make it clear what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Be willing to confront your friends whenever you believe they have wronged you.
Learn how to listen well (be empathetic, summarize what was said to make sure you heard it correctly, ask open-ended questions that lead to deeper sharing, and validate your friend’s feelings even if you don’t agree with them). Rather than harboring negative beliefs about your friends, acknowledge that your perceptions might be wrong and give your friends the benefit of the doubt until you can visit with them to discuss your concerns. Don’t make negative comments about other people in front of your friends when those people aren’t present to defend themselves; know that if you refrain from doing so, your friends will trust you not to speak critically about them when they’re not present.
Take responsibility for what you choose to believe about your friends and how you choose to communicate with them; don’t blame your friends for your own choices.
Forgive and seek forgiveness. Be willing to forgive your friends after they hurt you, and ask them to forgive you after you hurt them. Know that this is not an option; it’s something you must do to maintain healthy friendships. Remember that God has forgiven you and expects you to take His call to forgive seriously. Rely on God’s help to forgive and seek forgiveness, no matter what your feelings, and know that He will help you do so. Pursue reconciliation as well with those friends who are willing to restore their friendships with you.
Overcome destructive friendships. Try to prevent being mistreated in friendships by depending on Jesus (rather than other people) to meet your deepest needs, asking God to help you become wiser and more discerning, being willing to trust others after someone betrays you, and seeking out healthy friends.
Understand that a healthy friend: brings her own identity to the relationship, supports rather than acts as a caretaker, is honest and truthful but not critical, can make decisions for herself but does not need to make decisions for everyone around her, honors your other friendships while having a clear vision of the purpose God had when He brought you two together, does not try to manipulate you but encourages you instead, believes the best about you, forgives but does not accept recurring destructive behavior from someone who does not repent. Decide to give your heart in close friendship only to women you can trust to hold it well.
Know when to let go. If you have lost a friendship because of another person’s choice, accept that you can’t control another person and don’t try to force a relationship when she doesn’t want one. If you’re dealing with a destructive friendship in which your friend is mistreating you and won’t change, realize that the best choice for you to make may be to let go of that relationship.
After a friendship ends, try to learn from the experience by asking yourself: “How could I have done this relationship better?” and “What can I learn from this painful experience and apply to my other relationships?" Allow yourself to go through the grieving process for a friendship you’ve lost. Ask God to use the loss of a friendship to refine your weaknesses and draw you closer to Him.
Reach out in crisis. When you’re going through a crisis in your life (such as divorce, widowhood, a sick child, a death in the family, or your own illness), don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends for support. When your friends are going through a crisis in their lives, reach out to them to offer them some of the hope and help they need.
Pass on what you know. Become a mentor (either formally or informally) to younger women who could benefit from what you’ve learned about building grown-up friendships. Model love in the midst of hurt, offer support in the midst of trials, pray for their friendships, and occasionally include them in fun activities with you and your own friends.
Press on. Persevere through the challenges of struggles in your friendships, knowing that God will use all of your experiences to help you become more and more like Jesus.
Originally posted April July 2007.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
